5. Friggin in the riggin

It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, you should've seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis

The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another

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Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was fuck all else to do

The captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day, sweet tunes he'd play
On his fuckin' organ

The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ, he was a trooper
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor

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The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
Til they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
For cumming in the brandy

The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a fuckin' nipper
He stuffed his arse with a broken glass
And circumcised the skipper

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The captain's wife was Mabel
To fuck she wasn't able
So the dirty shits they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table

The captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
Delighted squeals revealed that eels
Had found her sexual quarters

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